Words of Wisdom

Blog Entry Words of Wisdom? Mar 24, ’12 9:32 PM
by Ann for everyone
     
goofy guy
 

    • Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.
    • I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.
    • Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, “Where the heck is the ceiling?!”
    • Someday we’ll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
    • There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
    • Good news is just life’s way of keeping you off balance.
    • Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
    • I considered atheism but there weren’t enough holidays.
    • My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
    • I am having an out of money experience.
    • I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
    • Not afraid of heights-afraid of widths.
    • I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
    • If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
    • A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
    • Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
    • Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
    • Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
    • Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
    • The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it.
    • The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
  • The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
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